To stalk or not to stalk?

Well, I have another issue I would like to write about before I get on this homework. ugh.

There’s this boy. and he’s creepy. He claims to be in love with me even with all my protesting. I don’t understand. I consider him my stalker. He’s screenname had my name in it!! how creepy is that?! But now he says that I’m his best friend and that he’s in love with me. I feel bad for him because he doesn’t really have any friends and all, he’s kind of an outsider and whatnot. But this all started the summer before my senior year and it’s just escalated until now.. and it’s kinda scary. I don’t want to be mean to him, but I feel like I’m leading him on by continuing to talk to him. Apparently he’d do anything to talk to me, so I can be as mean to him as I want and he’ll still continue to want to talk to me. Which I do not understand at all. I want to be mean so that he’ll leave me alone, but I’ll feel bad about it. I don’t want him to hurt himself or anything. and I don’t want to hurt him, I just want him to leave me alone!! or atleast if he does talk to me, I don’t want him to keep talking about me and about how much he likes me and how I make him so happy. I don’t understand what he sees in me. but I want it to stop. I don’t know how to do that because I’ve been trying for over a year and a half now… ugh. creepy.

Now he’s onto the idea that I’m going to help him write a book. and when he was about to sign off AIM. he said, now don’t forget that you’re writing the opening paragraph of my book. and I said, “I’m not writing the opening paragraph to your book. sorry.” Then he said something about how I crushed him, or that it was a fatal blow.. i’m not sure exactly, and then he said something like “Goodnight (my heart silently says the words I wish I could say aloud) sweet dreams (as tears stream down my face)”  It’s so weird. I feel bad for being mean to him. but he’s just creepy. I once said that one of my fears was that my stalker (meaning him) would some day come and kill me, you know because it’s like an infatuation and obsession and then they eventually are so obsessed with the person that they kill them in order to have them for themselves, and he’s told me before that he was obsessed… anyway, my fear that he’d kill me, and he told me, “you know I’d hurt myself before I ever hurt you” and I mean, that’s nice. but it’s still in the back of my mind. I’m afraid that he’ll find out where I live somehow and then I’ll be scared that he’ll come over or something. I think I’d have to move then..

uuugh. Well, this isn’t a good relationship. In my eyes, it’s only a friendship, obviously. I mean, I’m getting closer to being in a relationship with the other guy. =] and that makes me very happy. He’s so nice.

Alrighty. Well, that’s enough for tonight. I’d appreciate any comments you’d like to say about my blogs.

Thanks for reading! =]