Let’s Talk About Youuu & Meee

He came over today. We talk more often now. It’s good.

He asked for a hand massage. I said as long as I got one too. It was nice. I miss holding his hands. He said I was amazing at them. I don’t know if that’s just what people say so they think they don’t have to give one back? I don’t know. He said he was amazed by it. Who knows. But I got one back. It was good.

Today my sister asked why we were friends (him and I) and she was serious. He jokingly makes fun of me a lot. But I don’t know, I never take it personally. Maybe that’s because I still want to be with him, so I’ll accept it. I’m not sure. We pretty much didn’t answer the question, but it made me think. Obviously I’m still friends with him because I love him. But why is he friends with me still? He has said he loved me somewhat recently, not directly, but it’s been said. I mean, he doesn’t talk to his other exes. It’s pretty much just me. What made me different?

Unfortunately this always gets me thinking and I get happy and excited thinking that he still has feelings for me, which he may not, but I have this way of twisting things.

I think if I ever get into another relationship that it’s not going to be fair. I feel like I’m always going to want him, so I won’t be being fair to the person I’m with. Even if I’m to say, I still love him, I’m still getting over him, and they’re ok with it, it’s still not fair. I’m not giving them everything, and I’m pretty much not giving them much of a chance.

Well this song always reminds me of him. I really like T-Pain. hahaha. I know this is probably stereotypical, but I like how the song sounds like he really loves her and everything, even though they’re gangsters. It seems weird. But I like it. I like the fact that they really seem to have a soft side. I’m not sure. It’s hard to describe. And this song may be about sex and such, but I think it’s a really nice song. <3